Science has shown that 95% of the time we are automated in our responses to life operating on the premise of our conditioned thoughts. Yet thoughts are inconsistent and unreliable, and can come from nowhere and leave you feeling exhausted. By morning you may start the day with fresh inspiration as you contemplate your next move on the corporate ladder. But by evening you may be hanging onto your seat as suspicious thoughts arise of someone vying for your job.
The mind keeps on changing, as does the identity. Since childhood, we have been developing a sense of who we think we are based on programmed beliefs from many sources. Root beliefs are not original to us as they have been passed on from parents, peers, teachers and television, and are acted through us as our second nature.
The mind of me’s comes in many expressions; many opinions and not all are aligned as sometimes we feel out of balance with the pull of opposing thoughts. Inner conflict can keep us feeling torn like we are playing an inner game of Jekyll and Hyde.
The good news is that our first nature is that of a newborn baby, innately content without any ‘me’ identity, and we can return to that inner contentment through developing self-awareness. To be self-aware is to recognize the mindset from where we are looking so that we are no longer caught up in unconscious responses. Strong feelings may still arise but through awareness we can monitor the trigger points and apply self-regulation techniques to maintain emotional balance.
As we stabilize in self-awareness we become sensitized to our inner witnessing presence, and we develop mindfulness in our thoughts, speech, and action. We don’t feel the same pull to defend our personality as we become more compassionate towards the needs and motivations of others. As we journey from head to heart consciousness we feel lighter and more agile, and are able to rebound from life’s challenges as we no longer take things personally. Through a greater sense of control over our responses there is enhanced confidence and opportunity as we get into the flow and live from our truth and power.
Here are some tips on developing self-aware:
1. Take time to unwind:
Falling asleep at night, your mind has less interest in the inner dialogue as it surrenders to the unconscious state. Between wakefulness and sleep there is noticeably a state of wellbeing simply because you are not giving attention to thoughts. This is your natural self-awareness that can be accessed whenever you take time to focus away from the mental deluge.
2. Be the master of your own mind:
The capacity for self-awareness requires recognition of the ability to function as the detached internal observer. This witnessing state is much like a Managing Director overseeing the management of his staff of selves – the different ‘me’s’ or internal voices with which we associate. Becoming self-aware heightens sensitivity towards our mental, emotional and physical states, making us more aware that the repetitive replay of internal dialogue is only constructed from our conditioning. Identifying as the observer develops self-mastery, enhancing our ability to distance from inner turmoil and dilute emotional strongholds.
3. Be less critical and focus on the positive:
Whatever we put our attention is where we put our power. As we develop our awareness we naturally disassociate from the conditioned mind and an innate sense of peace and acceptance lightens our load. We naturally become less critical of ourselves, and the world around us. Just like the positivity we feel when we have had a good night sleep, happiness is our true self that is not entangled in the perceived limitations of the mind.