My Shamanic Journey and Healing with Judy

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by Rocio

 

I had a really beautiful and deep process working with Judy. My wish was to work on certain insecurities that affect my ability to stand in my full power today and live up to my full potential. 

The invitation to work with her came at a time when I had just come back from 3 years of living in the secluded  mountains of southern India. Returning back to Europe, presented unexpected challenges, as I was looking to somehow bring my learnings back with me and share them in an environment that now felt foreign to me. During this transition phase of a lot of uncertainty and  fears resurfacing, I re-connected with Judy. 

We went back in time and looked at many childhood events that shape who I am today. Judy has a crystal clear vision and intuitive sense and can easily understand how some past life events and figures in my life have created certain blockages to this day. She prodded with the right questions, and unearthed insights I had never noticed before. She had a gentle but powerful approach to dive into past memories that trigger certain responses to this day. 

During one particular session, we travelled to the past and landed in a setting that hadn’t crossed my conscious mind in a long time. Feelings of shame and the colour red flashed in certain areas of my body. An accumulation of scrunched up energy sat in my belly. And at the end of these feelings flashed a vision of a little girl. She was wearing a white dress and standing before a lake in a sombre haze of greys and blues. Behind red feelings of shame surfaced a deep feeling of helplessness. A feeling of powerlessness that found refuge in my throat and heart. 

“Now imagine your life is like a movie. And you’re holding the remote control and you rewind. Can you see what happened before that moment?” Judy nudges me to dig deeper in the past.

I was suddenly witnessing Rocio as a little girl clutching her knees tightly to her chest sitting in a corridor and feeling small. From the other room rose angry shouts of a quarrelling couple. There was a deep sadness stirring and rising in her belly at the clash of angry and hurtful words being propelled at each other. And consequently a feeling of powerlessness to put a stop to it. 

“Now imagine you travel in the past with your guides to meet this younger version of you. What would you say to her?” She asks.

The older me, with a deep feeling of peace and a holistic awareness of the situation, consoles the younger me. “I understand the tragedy of the situation”, I tell her, “but I also see ahead and understand that life can be lived with lightness, these deeper feelings don’t have to be carried around anymore.” “It’s OK to feel sadness, It’s OK to feel anything really. But you also have to learn to let it go, once you feel it, you allow it to flow out […] This is the way life is”. 

“Arguments are necessary to get clarity, to come to an understanding and people are doing the best they can”. The older me offered some advice from some more lived years of experience. 

I’m standing with my guide, who puts her hand on the younger me’s forehead. With this touch, the feelings of heaviness slowly dissipate and dissolve. One final powerful message arose during this healing “you’re allowed to enjoy every moment of your life…”

 

In another session we continued to work on this theme…

We travelled to a different place and time. This time I was standing with a circle of friends and parents of friends chatting. They were speaking words of praise at the accomplishments of my friends. I stood a bit off to the side, shying away from any attention. In that moment, I felt that I wasn’t worth of praise, of any attention and at the very core of it, unworthy of love. There was a feeling that praise was always deserving for others, and not something that I had a right to. 

To work with these deeper questions within, we brought in dream journaling. It was a fun and creative activity to initiate conversation with the deeper me, who held more insight as to why I carried these beliefs. 

What’s the root cause of my self-esteem? 

Why do I keep playing the ‘I’m not worthy’ victim role? 

Why do ‘negative’ emotions make me feel small?

How do I embrace all emotions more?

Before going to sleep, I focused on the question we were working with, and as soon as I woke up, I wrote down my dreams. During one session, I felt these dreams didn’t hold any insight, but Judy’s perception allowed to me to view them in a different way. It turns out there were messages I was not initially aware of. 

We also travelled to visit and converse with my shamanic guide, every single time prompting surprisingly insightful conversations. It felt like having a conversation with a deep and unseen part of me, one that knew all the answers and advised from a place of wisdom and ethereal peace. These sessions with Judy inspired a connection to the oftentimes disconnected child within. One message from my guides came so clearly; bring more playfulness into my life! I found myself creating once again in ways I had neglected for very long. 

Bringing these emotions to the surface disturbed and muddied the waters, and at times it was uncomfortable to dive into certain areas. But with Judy’s gentle guidance and wise insight I could make sense of how I was limiting myself. Only once I could recognise the behaviours that no longer served me, could I allow myself the time and patience to begin to let them go. Well, it’s quite the transformative journey, and I’m infinitely grateful to have initiated and walked along it with Judy.

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